When I homeschooled and we took a few weeks break during the summer I was usually ready to go back to my schedule, buy supplies, write out lesson plans, draw up meal menus, organize field trips and resume the extra-curricular activities.
It was always good to get back into our daily habits.
Six years ago I noticed that after several weeks I still didn’t seem to have any kind of system to go by…
I said to my friends,
“I’ll be glad when we’re back in a routine…” and they said,
“What’s that?”
As we neared Thanksgiving I confided to my Well-Heeled Stranger and homeschooling mentor,
“Perhaps this no-routine lark, is going to be my pattern this year…”
And it was, I went from knowing how each week was going to be ordered,
To dropping into a Monday at 30 miles an hour, overloaded and out of control.
I didn’t want to let go of my little piece of paper with Schedule written on it, but I had to face reality,
Our children were older and attending college classes, co-op, piano lessons, ballet practise, bible studies, theatre rehearsals, doctor’s appointments, dental checkups and youth groups…to name just a few extra curricula activities.
No two weeks looked alike.
I glanced at my creased, worn and grubby piece of paper bearing the smudged word, Schedule, and wadded it up.
I relaxed and let order develop out of what I considered to be chaos.
I put down anchors at home and abided by daily,
Prayer,
Yoga,
Worship,
Walking and
Coffee…
I allowed God to prepare me for…
…Today! As it turned out.
The after effects of my parents’ deaths, selling property and losing children to their independence have caused whole blocks of precious moments to evaporate from my life, only to be recalled when I read an essay or a journal entry written at the time.
I am unable to remember conversations from yesterday, last week or a month or twelve ago.
I know…
Blonde moments, sensory overload, senior spells…
A life too full…
A worrisome state of affairs none-the-less.
I enlisted Hubs in a reflection exercise reckoning that two befuddled minds are better than one.
I wanted to know,
“When we were at pizza night last week, who was there and what did we talk about?”
“I don’t remember,” he said, “Pizza Night?” he asked, “Yesterday?” he clarified, “Does it matter?” He furrowed his brow.
“It does to me!” I said.
What happened a year ago seems like only last Spring.
A month ago was surely just the other day?
A week ago, really? It wasn’t this morning?
Just now, wasn’t that last week?
I’m in a time warp. There are no beginnings or endings…I am unable to nail anything down by season or hour.
I return to my anchors, established during the final years of homeschooling when God was readying me for such a time as this,
As a householder I mark time in the ordinary.
I Pray,
I Practice Yoga,
I Worship,
I Study,
I Socialise with the neighbors,
I Walk,
I Write,
I Dine with Hubs,
We go over our days.
This week, six years later, I am finally seeing some clarity beyond the mist.
The foggy parts are beginning to clear,
Days have stopped feeling like weeks,
Years no longer feel like months and
Hours have reverted to a steady and predictable sixty minutes.
Thank You Lord for wrapping me in your warm and fuzzy blanket.
For keeping me safely by Your side.
Without Your presence I would have thrown away my mind with my grubby piece of paper with Schedule written on it.
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
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