Louis C.K., a comedian, said he was not going to let his children have cell phones.
He explained that messaging doesn’t allow the child (or the adult for that matter), to feel empathy,
Not the way facing someone and looking him or her in the eye does.
He’s right, one runs the risk of texting words one would never say in person…
One runs the risk of losing one’s sensitivity.
He went on to say that grabbing one’s phone when negative feelings surface,
To play games,
To text ‘Hi’,
To reach out into cyber space for something or someone to take their minds off
the sadness,
the aloneness,
the emotion they don’t know how to handle…
Does little or no good in the long run.
Instead, he suggests, we should practice dealing with feelings as they emerge regardless of the sentiments they dredge up.
In Yoga I am told to tap into my body’s aches and pains, tiredness, moods and general well-being at that moment on my mat and to work with who I am today,
To rest in my own company,
To meet myself where I am and cut myself some slack…
and most of the time I do!
However, for those who may not feel comfortable around themselves for long…
a superficial text message becomes a lifeline and draws the world a little closer,
keeps them virtual company.
Instant gratification with no lasting benefit.
In a previous post of mine I advocated walking in the path of both inspiration and salvation,
Perhaps it’s all right to also walk in the path of feelings…
If the lump in my throat becomes too hard to swallow…
Cry.
After a good bawl I could be left with a sense of release.
Louis C.K. quipped that all we are left with after reaching for our phones is a slight contentment with our product,
“I love my phone!
“I feel lost without it!
“How did I ever live before hand held devices?”
He had me pondering my pre-cell life,
How did I cope without a healing swoosh or ding indicating a new message,
a notification that my friend has posted a new picture on Instagram,
or that the status of a person I’ve never met has just changed?
In the age before iPhones was I a hotbed of raging passion?
Did I sob uncontrollably when met with a scowl?
Or lie prone in my bed because it was Monday…all day?
While I may not instinctively reach for my phone when things go bad,
I have to admit I’ve developed a list of tasks that help me keep my strongest feelings at bay…
…postpone the inevitable until I’ve created some distance.
As a Mum of young children I’d use their demands to avoid being real with my spouse,
Rather than confront him I’d change a diaper, prepare a bottle, or bathe a child whether she needed it or not.
I used outside commitments as excuses to dodge a family issue,
“I’m late for work,
“It’s time to go to rehearsal,
“Is the board meeting tonight?”
When Hubs went out on the road for months in a row leaving me at home with four children under six I’d move furniture rather than confront the emptiness, the fear, the loneliness.
I sorted drawers to clear my head,
cleaned house,
cooked,
read.
I went to see a film,
grabbed a glass of wine,
sought the company of friends.
With the quietness that comes with empty nest I have added a few new tools,
meditation,
prayer,
Yoga,
walking,
photographing what’s going on around me in nature.
And every now and again I’ll reach for my phone!
It’s part of my arsenal to still my beating heart,
to unwind,
to catch up with family on Facebook,
or just win a game of Word!
Distractions provide the distance which gives me the strength to search the dark corners of my mind and beat my dragons. (G.K. Chesterton)
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
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