Biological Clocks and Ticking…

When my husband and I married we decided to have children.  Quickly!  After all, both our biological clocks were tick-tocking away.  Or were they?  I don’t really know if men’s biological clocks tick or do they just send out an alarm every few seconds?  Anyway, I volunteered to be the one to endure the pregnancies.  No, I didn’t volunteer (hey, I was the only one who could do the job), I agreed that for the next thirty-six out of seventy-two months I’d grow… fat and a baby or two. I relished every minute of my healthy glow.  During my first nine months I ate cake and ice cream every evening simply because I could.  Once I had passed the “simply looking fat” stage I eagerly entered the heavily pregnant phase of my gestation.  I loved my protrusion and wore oversized jump suits in bright pinks and peppermint greens to feature it.  Brightly coloured head bands and bows briefly drew people’s attention upwards, but not for long…I was BIG and proud.  I refused to buy maternity clothes, my face filled out, my eyes sparkled, my ankles swelled into my high top reeboks and everyone around me, who could, joined me.  It was our time to be fruitful.  I danced and worked until the end, much to the concern of everyone around me who wished I’d just sit down and contemplate my growing belly.  Then, as was to be expected, I had my, sorry, our baby, took eight weeks off (C-section), and returned to the office a stone heavier (look it up!) without a backward glance at junior, all Daddy’s now.  For-ever…  Child two, three and four followed, as planned.  My diet see-sawed from fish to tangerines to everything.  I gained appropriate amounts of weight…and yielded healthy 8 pounders, I had day sickness right up until birth and developed an allergy to People Magasine, thank you, Lord!  Then my clock stopped.  And I’ve just remembered, men’s clocks don’t stop, they’re fertile (that’s what the clock analogy means by the way) until the last nail is hammered into the coffin.  I’ve done my part, now they’re all yours, hubby dearest.

Share this:

No comments so far!

Leave a Comment