I trust God.

I have faith.


As long as everything is going well I suppose…

Like most people around me I want to be in the know.

I want to be able to plan…

without surprises…

without hitches.

I pray, I trust, I have faith…

I think!

So why do I worry and fuss and fret and rush around wearing myself out until whatever I’ve been praying about goes away or gets solved?

Or I come to terms with the prognosis and stop fighting God?

Or I resign myself to the great unknown and make a note in the unanswered prayers section of my journal?


I’m human that’s why.

The other day I felt anxious.

Previously I’d lived with debilitating panic attacks about money that would have my stomach heaving and my body gasping for air.

Worn ragged for years I’d eventually succeeded in putting my persistent financial angst away in the corner of God’s closet under the stairs and picked up the box marked inner peace.

So complete was the relief I sometimes found myself wondering how I’d allowed the idol of riches to rule every waking moment of my life?

God showed me His power and I found faith and allowed Him to rule my life –  for a season.

My relapse the other day was rather like Peter walking on water until he saw the strength of the wind and called out for Jesus to save him. (Matthew 14:28-30)

I’d been going over my financial statements and had become overwhelmed and flushed.

“I feel sick,” I said to Hubs as we headed out the door for church.

On the way my iPhone rang and a message from our banker beeped on my screen.

“God works in mysterious ways,” Hubs remarked after I’d played him the good news.

“Indeed He does,” I agreed, “He’s reminded me that He is all powerful…and that I need to stay in faith-mode.”

So I dragged my angst back to His closet under the stairs and went in search of the inner peace I’d swapped it for.


Whenever I know the outcome of any situation where’s the need for faith – right?

Faith is not knowing and still being calm and believing God has my back.

I have to remind myself of this every time something pops up and catches me unawares.

The cycle of forgetting and remembering is the very nature of being human.


Here I am worried about leaving our cats for a month while we head to London and trusting other people to care for them…

I don’t for a minute expect God to physically watch my cats Himself… (but that’s not such a bad idea since He’ll do it perfectly.)

But I should have faith enough not to fret and fuss and rush around wearing myself out until someone comes along who may be willing to help…someone whom God sent.

So far no takers but in the meantime the feelers are out, the options are being considered and at least Callie knows where to lay her head.


Look at her, the picture of calm.

Totally trusting me who’s totally trusting God.

That’s faith for you!

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