I worry about my children and it puts a wedge between me and God. I think He needs my help since I’m their mother and know them best and my throat is parched.
I want them to have a happy, secure life, the one I gave them while they were growing up.
I want them to have the life I would have for them.
God wants me to have the life He would have for me.
The biggest difference between God and me, apart from divinity, is the gift of Free Will.
God honors my free will.
My humanity keeps me from honoring my children’s.
“Did I teach them about the value of health benefits, how to live within a budget, to have a Christian worldview, a strong work ethic, how to pray and the importance of savings?” I ask Hubs in a crashing moment of doubt.
“Of course you did but they are individuals and want a crack at life their way,” he says.
I shake my head and silently wish they would acknowledge that mother knows best.
If I had taken the life my mother wanted for me I’d be married to a doctor, lawyer or solicitor, financially secure after years of a steady income and looking retirement in the face with a lucrative pension and healthy investments.
But that would not have been my life.
I made my own mistakes and rectified them, I strayed off course and returned, I followed my instincts, trusted my gut and pulled frustration to pieces. I grew strong, confident and fulfilled in the life of my choosing with the man I love.
I also grew closer to God and came to understand that my life here is transitory, a stepping stone to paradise (that has felt at times like 40 years of wandering) but the promise remains the same, home is with my father heaven.
With that in mind I sip from the living water Jesus offers,
and slowly drain the vessel finding relief that my throat no longer burns, my joints don’t creak, my headache’s gone, my stomach has ceased cramping and my worries are washed away. I see His face at the bottom of the cup and I feel revived… (John 4:10-16)
I don’t want my children to come between me and my relationship with God and when I turn my worries into prayer I find they don’t.
This is the promise of the living water offered to the Samaritan woman at the well:
When I fully trust in the Lord my God, I will never thirst again.
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
No comments so far!
Leave a Comment