I go for a daily walk even if we’ve been up to town or down to the High Street I still like to take my evening constitutional at my pace, for an hour.
I am having to stride out earlier than usual because of the encroaching darkness; walking around unlit streets does not seem safe, even if it is only 5 o’clock in the afternoon!
Today I was out with the Mums picking their children up from the Catholic primary school around the corner. The children are always so happy; their faces lit.
I am getting to know the neighbourhood rather well, in fact a young student stopped me yesterday and asked for a road and I looked at him and told him he was walking in the wrong direction.
“No,” he said and shook his head, “it’s here,” he made a sweeping gesture in the general direction of the flats across the street. I shook my head and pointed back the way he’d come.
“It’s there, trust me, I walk here every day.” He looked gloomy, a foreigner who knew better than I.
“Do you have a map?” I asked. He nodded, and dug around in his pockets.
Handing over a piece of folded paper he disappeared and I thought,
“Oh no it’s a letter bomb!” but he’d only stepped behind me into the street to retrieve his water bottle.
I opened the map and showed him where we were and where he wanted to be. Printed proof he was heading the wrong way!
That’s me now, a walking Google map.
I sent him back the way he’d come with pubs and stations as landmarks to guide him.
Today as I walked, lost in thought, a van drove passed and a man’s voice shouted,
“Smile!”
Whether the injunction was directed at me or not, I took it to heart.
I had been noting that hub’s facial expressions weren’t reflecting the words he uttered, a condition a lot of people our age have, it’s called,
“The weight of life resting on our faces.”
Startled into remedial action I tried to smile. That isn’t easy, it feels ridiculous as if…
“Duh, where’s the camera?”
So I tried a gentle upturning of the mouth. That also felt ridiculous, I thought passersby would say,
“You! What are you grinning at?”
I looked at other people to see how they were holding their faces.
Some looked glum, tough lives etched in stone.
Some looked pleasant, not an upturning of the lips, more a horizontal line, probably on its way down I would say.
The happiest looking people were walking in pairs and making each other smile or at least animating each other’s faces and bringing a twinkle to the eyes.
“That’s it,” I thought, “pretend I’m talking to someone!”
I started a faux conversation with myself in an effort to encourage my face to reflect the result. I worried people would notice my moving lips and think I was mad.
I decided to change my attitude. After all, there are lots of happy things in my life; I have a husband who waits for me impatiently at home to smother me with smooches (as his daily emails say); I have a warm comfortable flat to live in; I can write all day if I like; or sleep; or read. Why not let all my fortune show up on my face while I stride along?
I started humming. My face settled into a more approachable shape.
At least it felt gentler.
I realized I was humming a hymn!
Even better!
Hum the Talk.
Walk the Smile!
Was that you, God, hollering at me from the van?
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
No comments so far!
Leave a Comment