I am an introvert. This does not mean I am shy, quiet or afraid of speaking in public, it means I re-charge differently.
When extroverts are in the spotlight, “on” all the time, surrounded by people, bombarded by outside stimuli, they are charged, re-charged and re-charged again. They come away racing with adrenalin ready to conquer the world.
When introverts experience all the above no-one would necessarily notice a difference between them and their counterpart extroverts during “performance” time but once they are alone they crash and are in desperate need for quiet time.
I became aware of this about myself quite recently. For years I thought being an introvert meant not speaking out, not being gregarious or able to share with crowds, but a friend of mine described himself as an introvert and he acted like an extrovert. I discovered that the difference is in the re-charging process.
I had never noticed that I needed great amounts of downtime, I like being alone and reading, as a homeschooler I can pace myself during the day, I encourage nap times, gentle activities like floating on the pool, putting together jig saws and strolls through the back forty.
Then I encountered social overload last year at the theatre. I was stage manager and endured a tech weekend lasting 30 hours. I was rendered useless for a corresponding 30 much to the chagrin of my family. I just couldn’t speak or relate or make decisions or even tolerate company. I was in re-charge mode and was completely taken aback! So this is what it means to be an introvert, I thought!
But once I had re-fuelled I was ready for the world again. Only now I was very aware of why I suddenly go quiet and withdraw right in the middle of an event. Most of the time it goes un-noticed even by me, but not anymore.
Today I went to Leigh-on-Sea with my hubs, daughter and her boyfriend. It was a long and non stressful time, or so I thought. We rode on trains, I silently read in my corner; then we had a cup of coffee and walked around the town exploring, looking in shops, experiencing a fisherman’s cottage from the 16th century, walking along the beach and then meeting Malia’s future host Mum, again for us, first time for the men.
By the time we caught the train back to London I was in mute mode. When I got home my daughter asked me if I was all right?
“Yes, just overloaded from having to be “on” all day!”
Even though it was a good day, the presence of her boyfriend for all those hours in a row was a tad demanding. I had to be on my best behaviour although I didn’t realise it and I definitely wasn’t conscious of it, he is the nicest, least demanding person among us, and so in love, with my daughter to boot!!
She understood,
“Oh, I’m sorry. Please come out with us for a meal Mum, I promise we won’t talk much!”
So now I’m winding down and re-charging in one of the ways I know best.
See you tomorrow!
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
No comments so far!
Leave a Comment