Almost three weeks ago I landed in England on a cloud of disbelief. For six moths I had been planning a move to here for at least a year to live with my mother, in her Beckenham flat, to care for her, keep her company and generally be there whenever she needed me.
But my Mum was of the generation who believe they need no help, no caring for, no full time company. Had she been able to she would have told me,
“Don’t bother coming darling, all that way! I can look after myself, what do you think I am, decrepit or something?”
and of course I would have cast myself a knowing look in my mirror and shrugged my shoulders and continued with my plans anyway because by now I knew better than to heed her habitual words.
I once high tailed it to England for three weeks to arrange for her passport, health insurance and safekeeping for her beloved dog. She had agreed to come and live with me in America for a few weeks, up to three months on paper, but we would start with a few weeks and see how the memory worked.
It was not an easy three weeks but it was successful except for the last day when at tea in her house. Malia and I had rented the usual cottage in Broadstairs even though my father was in a nursing home and there was a spare room. My mother cornered me in her kitchen, placed her hands firmly on my shoulders and said,
“Vivienne, I feel as though I’m being kidnapped. Leave me alone and go home.”
Now, three years later, I was unable to bring her to America and my daughter was going to attend a Performing Arts college in Essex, I made plans to move three of us to her flat in England, replace her carers and take on the task of feeding her, and making sure she was safe.
When I landed in my cloud of disbelief I rushed straight to the hospital and slowly watched my Mum leave me to go to her own place that needed no passport, health insurance or doggy care, just Jesus.
My valuably learned lesson from all this? Life is not what you expect it to be. Prayers are not answered as directed. Everything happens for a reason. This last one holds a lot of hope that perhaps life will turn out as expected and prayers will be answered as directed, eventually.
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
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