I’ve been introduced to a lot of elephants recently. Pachyderms is such a lovely word for what is now an obsolete order, almost sounds as prehistoric as the Olifant (its archaic spelling) looks.
My son took me to the Dublin Zoo where I met five and was given a story about each one and how the keepers are proud of their “minimal to no contact” principle.
I read a book about Hannah, a 42 year old elephant, who was suffering from bad feet and needed to be re-located to a sanctuary to save her life.
I watched a herd of Africans at Howlett’s Zoo in Kent, pull the bark off several large tree branches in their muddy yard.
In their enormity they are said to be the most dangerous animal in the world, fully capable of crushing a rhinoceros.
Mostly I have learned that during our family conversations they inhabit the premises!
In their daring they stand right in the middle of the room and wave their trunks around, flapping their ears and generally making a commotion attempting to be seen without being heard. Those of us who sense their presence are left stripped and crushed by the meaningless words which fall, like clods of muck, onto the floor, smothering the half truths and omissions left over from conversations that have gone before.
There’s no moving an elephant bogged down in the mire of our deceit; it’s up to us to burrow into the safety of hollow platitudes or tip toe noiselessly on the eggshells of our lives, to ignore the gesticulating elephant.
Over Skype one evening I pointed this out to our youngest while we side-stepped and lunged over various topics of conversation. The elephant is a jealous hoarder.
I could tell she was hiding the truth about missing home. Her tears were caught in the elephant’s trunk ready to escape those glistening eyes with the utterance of the right words. I and the elephant resisted, the tears remained.
“There’s an elephant in the room,” I said, wondering if she could see it.
“Yes,” she agreed, “and he’s a big one!”
We gathered the elephant to us and retrieved our stolen truths. Our hearts blessedly found voice releasing the grievances and sorrows that had built up for a month.
Our health restored we saw a puff of smoke float upwards and away.
A great weight had been lifted as we faced our lives square on.
The elephant had gone.
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
No comments so far!
Leave a Comment