The next mishap occurred when we were on our way to get pizza from Cici’s, actually I tell a lie, my husband was on his way, I was staying at home with the baby who had fallen asleep in her swing. As a deviation from the mishap story, hear me: Never wake a sleeping baby. …

When I had reached my quota of four children, and my mid-section had called a halt to its rapidly expanding and contracting circumference, and the seed had been literally cut off once and for all, the mishaps began. The first accident happened when an interior door’s hinges made crushing contact with my 10 month old…

Before returning to work I had to shed some serious poundage.  Remember I’d eaten cake and ice cream every night because I could?  I am not one of those women with a closet full of  different sized clothes to suit the mood and weight swings of the wearer.  I had been a size 10 in…

Nobody told me that children are a health hazard once they are sprung from the safety of the womb.  Our health insurance took a beating while they were taste testing their world, finding their feet, perfecting their balance and training for their triathlon events. Have you noticed they have no self control during the first…

So here I am with children.  No experience, just beating the clock before it beats me.  I, or rather my doctor, drew the line at four.  I would have argued had it not been for his carefully chosen words of caution, “four C-sections are enough…” As a good Catholic girl I had always wanted six,…

As I was preparing to key in my code and program the speed I may want to achieve the next time I darkened the Y doors, I heard someone say, loudly enough to be heard above the clunking of feet on the treadmills behind us, “Well aren’t you cute.  Would you look at Barbie here!” I looked…

My guide this particular afternoon was a personal trainer.  Instinctively I knew we had something in common, my body!  I know a lot about it and he wanted to know a lot about it.  The machines and their thirst for information were calling to us and we started the circuit.  I had been scheduled 30…

As I would never fall into any of the above-mentioned categories, well, perhaps the gross ones at some point in my life, I bristle if anyone uses the C adjective about me.  Having said that, I have been called cute a time or two, and survived, but no-one makes the mistake of using the word…

Now that I am a mother and a homeschooling one at that, I have to keep up appearances.  I know I am intelligent and well educated (private boarding school educated for that matter, and for those of you who don’t know, in England the privileged go to boarding schools to be learned not punished).  I…

Molly’s tumor grew.  After a year she could hardly open her mouth.  Yawning looked painful and her meow had been reduced to a whispered, growly purr.  For months I fed her soft food which she shoved into her mouth with her front paws.  The kitchen floor bore Friskies tracks because she lost the ability to…