My youngest daughter was standing in our lounge doorway yesterday morning, she was telling me what she and her boyfriend were going to be doing on this, the last day of his visit. Her eyes were bright and she looked extremely pretty but then I noticed her lips droop downwards and I realised she was unhappy,
“Ahh, you’re sad,” I said going over and hugging her. She nodded into my shoulder.
“Try to put your sadness away,” I said, “and have a wonderful final day.”
As it turned out she told me she did have a wonderful final day.
But on her return from Heathrow this morning, where she’d sat while his plane was delayed for a couple of hours, she told me they had it all together until he went through security. That is a clincher even on a three week holiday!
The tears flowed all the way home. She was wearing her dark glasses, the sun was shining for the first time in months!
“This is tough,” she said, amid the tears.
She tells me she was getting used to the idea of being here, pursuing her dream. But these eleven days with her boyfriend were so incredible that now she is having to start all over again with the emotional breaking of her heart.
“Now you know what it’s like to leave and be left,” I said gently. She nodded, miserable.
I admire her. All day I’ve been feeling empty for her, knowing, in a way, how she feels. My hubs travelled for months at a time, but we were married and he always came home.
The two of them came up with a scheme to see each other again in two months but after talking to us about it they realised it may not work as well on paper …My heart was breaking…
This evening on our way to the chippie I said,
“Imagine not having had those fabulous eleven days because you were afraid of the pain of separation you’re experiencing now.” I went on, “you’ll remember this holiday forever, it will eventually be worth all the sorrow. But not yet…”
I told her it was all right to cry, be sad.
I love her. I will miss her when she leaves for college. In the meantime I want to do some special things with her. I may not be the boyfriend, but together we can get through this…that’s what mothers are good at. Where’s the super glue?
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
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