Our priest at St. Joseph always publishes something in the newsletter under the title,
Heines Sight.
Clever, I know!
On the feast of the Holy Family, a week after Christmas, he wrote about family traditions.
How Christianity should be part of of the family identity we pass down from generation to generation along with rooting for the Cowboys, cinnamon roll Fridays and the annual Easter party.
Well, I’ve done passing down, at least to impressionable youngsters, my adult children are now who they are…
My God remains the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow but I have to admit, the stern Miss Trunchbull in me has softened at the edges with my surrender to empty nest.
Do I make a big fuss about my offsprings’ choices to skip breakfast or stop going to church once they have discarded the dependent cape?
Or do I continue to love them as they are, model the Christian life and keep up the McNeny identity as best I can?
Our priest writes:
“I have seen some families where, if the child decided to go to a different college than his parents he is practically disowned, but if he decides to move in with his girlfriend no-one challenges him to re-evaluate that choice.”
As Christian parents we taught our moral values to our rug-rats and regularly practiced our faith as a clan.
Our days were put into God’s hands.
We went to church, served at the altar, taught Sunday school, enjoyed fellowship and nursing home visits, The Boar’s Head Festival and Bandera Burn, mission trips and ministries.
At home we studied the scriptures, teamed up with other families to strengthen our faith, prayed the Divine Office and made our Creator the number one priority in our household, without bible bashing.
We climbed trees, tracked snakes, cooked, laughed and played, volunteered at the animal shelter and the local community theatre and lived out our faith hoping our actions spoke louder than words.
What our children have chosen to carry with them into their lives is something I no longer have direct control over.
I meet them where they are and heartily embrace their strong work ethic, their thoughtfulness, their moral fibre as citizens, their responsibility with finances, their fidelity, their friendship, their questions and confidences, their strong sense of family.
The life-style choices I do not condone may challenge my beliefs but are no reason for falling out…instead, they become further lessons in tolerance for all of us.
I have absolute faith they are exactly where God wants them to be while He works His wonders.
As He is still working His wonders with me…
I have a relationship with my children which is the most important part of our family identity.
I cannot disown them for their choices because I love them, anymore than God can disown me for my choices because He loves me.
I can walk away from God but He never walks away from me.
My children can run from m, but I will never turn my back on them.
Through their discovery of who they are I want to be there to offer advice and condolences, to join in their joys and celebrations, to lend support and a handkerchief when tears begin to flow.
I strive not to judge…there is only one judge and I trust He knows what He is doing…
He did with me.
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
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