Wham, Bam, Thank-You Ma’am…

We were heading to communion when above me I could hear the faint sound of music.

“Where’s that music coming from?” I asked hubs as we prepared to leave our pew.

“I don’t know.”  He looked up.

We headed towards the altar rails and I could hear music apparently following us.  Perhaps someone was playing a CD off in the choir room and it was being picked up by a microphone and broadcasting softly over the loud speakers.

We knelt at the altar rail and I realised I was hearing, quite clearly now, a song coming from Hub’s jacket.

His iPhone was misbehaving.  We both started smiling broadly.

Reverend Margaret must have thought we had captured her joy at receiving the Lord in the form of bread because she smiled radiantly down at me while saying,

“The body of Christ,” and I all but laughed out loud!

“Amen!” I blurted out.

“The body of Christ,” she placed the host in Hub’s hand and David Bowie belted out,

“Wham bam, thank-you Ma’am!”

It took us all our restraint not to snort out loud.  We pushed away from the rails and hurried into the back corridors behind the organ pipes to quiet Suffragette City.

I believe we were the only ones who heard.

This is what happens when a rookie brings his cell phone into church!

We were later told by Daughts, after we had recounted the story to her, that

“Just because you turn your phone on silent doesn’t mean music won’t play when you press the home key twice.”

It’s all accidental at this stage in our training.  The iPhone appears to do what it pleases.  We claim to never press our home key twice, we don’t even know if we know where our home key is?

The next time we attended mass Hubs turned his phone off completely and I left mine in doors!


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