I was having a conversation over fish and chips in Whitstable, overlooking the estuary. I could see the lights of Leigh on Sea, it had only been a week since we’d been on the other side!
I was describing the kind of business I wanted to a family friend.
Somewhere where guests were encouraged to join us in the kitchen as we cooked, even share their culinary skills if they felt so inclined.
A retreat where guests could spend a weekend potting, painting, jamming in a studio, reading, writing or praying.
A comfortable place where guests would feel at home for a few short days.
She turned to me and said,
“Oh, it sounds just like your mother’s house.”
You could have knocked me over with a feather!
“No, honestly,” she continued when she saw my look of incredulity, “I’d take all the children over for tea and they’d rush in with their muddy shoes and I’d be chasing after them not to put their feet on the furniture or tread on the dog and she’d say, calm as a millpond, ‘they’re children, leave them alone, I’ll clean up afterwards.'”
“Whose mother are you talking about?” I asked.
Was I too blinded by my own negative perception to never have seen my mother in this generous, hospitable light?
As I picked myself up from from my knocking down my mind opened to a most wonderful thought,
“How lovely to have my mother remembered in such a fond way.”
Then I thought,
“How I wish I had known this mother my friend was acquainted with.”
I ended my series of thoughts with a desire to leave my children with the impression others outside my family have of me. I mean, why should I cheat those I hold dearest to me of the person I appear to be to others?
Undoubtedly, as in my case, a lot of it has to do with blinding negative perceptions, but I have a trick up my sleeve.
It is that centuries old exhortation Benedict gave to his followers, to “treat everyone as Christ.”
That evens the odds out a bit doesn’t it?
Well hello there! My name is Vivienne McNeny.
I am an empty nester exploring life as a Boomer…you could say I'm happily Boomering along!
As a homeschooling Mum I have finally quit the job of role model and mentor to my four children. I do what I want to do, eat when I feel like it, enjoy life with my blue eyed cowboy and clean my house once a month or so whether it needs it or not!
In true English form I write about the emergence of my true identity now that I can no longer hide behind my children as their Mum.
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